A Decision Based On Love Read online

  Chapter 11

  Liz was running low on patience with her husband’s insane hours. He had sold more in the last few weeks than he had sold in months and he was working like a man driven. She could tell it was becoming more of a way of life than an exception and this was not the direction she wanted her life to go. She had a vivid recollection however, of the last time she tried to talk to Tyson about changing his life. She really didn't want to be the lightening rod again. Tyson was usually so amicable and enjoyed talking. She sighed and blew the breath out of her mouth so that it ruffled the bangs on her forehead. Was anything ever going to be easy again? She dreaded the conversation, but her resolve gave her the kick in the back side she needed.

  He came home late as usual. He went in to kiss the kids goodnight and Liz came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his middle. “They miss you,” she whispered. She instantly felt his muscles tighten. So this was how it was going to be. She would plead and he would get defensive or close down. They would end the same place they always did these days, with the silent treatment. Liz heated up his dinner while he caught up on some paperwork. She had just about had enough. Tyson could hear his wife banging around and slamming doors and he knew it was coming before she sat the plate down with a little extra force in front of him. Still, he feigned oblivion as he dug into his delicious meatloaf. She sighed loudly and stood with her arms folded. He ruffled some papers beside his plate and looked them over.

  “Nice try Tyson. We are going to have a conversation if I have to stay up all night waiting for you to acknowledge me. Don't think I won't chase you around the house ranting at you. It is completely your fault that I've turned into this raving shrew. You won't talk to me and I never see you. When I finally do see you I'm like a wound up jack in the box ready to explode. The kids are as bad as I am. You'd think they were two starved little puppies the way they follow you around whenever they see you. Did you notice the other day when you went to the bathroom and Kenny immediately crawled after you? You didn't think it was a little telling that he kept sticking his chubby little fingers under the crack in the door? They just want to be near you Tyson. They need you and I need you.”

  Tyson put down the paper and set his fork aside. She was right. He smiled slightly at the memory of Kenny's little fingers peeking under the door. “OK, what do you want to talk about?”

  It was too good to be true. He was giving her his undivided attention for the first time in weeks. Her resolve faltered slightly and she almost determined to be nice about it. Then she remembered where niceness had gotten her so far. It was almost nowhere. It was time to play hard ball with her absentee husband. At work he was used to demanding clients and tough negotiations. She could run her home the same way. When it was something this important Liz could be as unrelenting as anyone he'd ever dealt with.

  She took a deep breath and bent forward at the waist to look him square in the eye. She'd heard that a position of power was important in tough negotiations so she bore down on him with an unflinching fixed gaze. “I want Saturdays AND Sundays, all day. I want you here to do baths and bedtime 3 nights a week and I want big time wrestling back.”

  Tyson cocked an eyebrow at her expression and her demands. “Saturdays AND Sundays? You don't think that's asking a little too much?”

  “I do not. Saturday is for working with the kids in the yard and going fun places. Sunday is for church and extended family. We need them both. This is non-negotiable.” Then she felt a little selfish so she added, “I only asked for 3 nights a week. That still leaves you 2 for evening clients.”

  Tyson rose from his chair, regaining the position of power over his diminutive wife. “Is there anything in this proposal that IS negotiable, “he quarried?

  That half grin of his made Liz lose all concentration. “Well I suppose big time wrestling could be exchanged for the sleeping monster game, but that is as far as I'm willing to go.”

  Tyson was enjoying this aggressive side of his wife. “And what if I'm not willing to meet your demands?”

  She fixed him with her most resolute glare and let the tension build dramatically for a few seconds then she added slowly, “You have no idea what I'm capable of.”

  That brought on a full smile from Tyson. He knew she was only half jesting. When she made up her mind to something she was a pit bull. He had visions of his wife and two kids showing up at work to drag him away or bringing a picnic into his office. He could tell when she had on her “don't mess with me” face. He sighed and enfolded her in his arms, resting his chin on the top of her head.

  “Aw honey, I know this has been hard on you and the kids. I'm trying to work through it but I'm not very good at dealing with all these emotions. It's so much easier just to retreat into what I am good at.”

  “Don't you see Tyson? If you weren't so much fun to be around, we wouldn't miss you so much. According to those two kids of yours the fun can never really begin until daddy gets home. You're everything to them and if I'm being completely honest I'll admit I kind of like having you around too. I need you to talk to me Tyson. I feel like I hardly know the man you are becoming.” She stifled a little sob snort. “I don't want to lose the man you were.”

  Tyson took a deep breath. He wasn't one to share his feelings with a therapist or go to a bereavement group, but he could try to tell his wife what he was feeling. She deserved that much at least.

  Liz looked up at him imploringly, “Why are you trying to shut out the people who love you most in the whole world?”

  He ran his hand through the thick blond waves of his hair. It took him a minute to put into words but he began to tell her what was in his heart. “I think it's possible that the guilt of not staying with mom has turned into a sense of guilt at being happy. I'm not sure I can enjoy my family when dad and Marci have lost their chance at happiness. Does that make sense? Every time I start to really laugh and have a good time I'm assaulted with guilt about Marci's loneliness and it drains the joy right out of me.”

  Liz didn't know how to respond to that. She had no idea he was feeling guilty about enjoying his family. “I guess I can understand that, but let's come up with a plan to work towards a normal life again. Maybe we can slowly desensitize you to the guilt a little fun at a time. Would it help if we spent more time with Marci and Eli?”

  “I don't know. I'll try but I need you to be patient as I sort through these feelings and remember when I can't take it anymore I may need to lose myself in work occasionally.”

  Liz nodded and sighed. If she didn't love this man so much it would sure be easier. She knew they weren't there yet, but at least they were finally making progress. She leaned up on tiptoe and kissed him hungrily. He responded just like he was supposed to, so she took him by the hand and led him to the bedroom.

  Tyson slept in late and for the first time in weeks and woke up without feeling drained. He stretched lazily in bed and woke his wife up by nuzzling on her neck. She giggled and rolled out of bed to check the kids. Kylee was just waking up when her mommy told her that there was someone waiting to see her on the big bed. With scary hair flying in every direction and her pajamas all askew, she barreled into her parents’ bedroom. She was just about to leap onto the bed when she heard the loud, outrageous snore of the sleeping monster coming from underneath the pillow. She snuck up slowly, creeping quietly towards the outside of the bed and gently lifted the edge of the pillow to check and see if the monster was still sleeping.

  “Rarr,” Tyson shot up in bed and growled. Kylee shrieked and tried to run away, but the sleeping monster was too quick for her. He grabbed her around the waist, hauled her into his lair and began feasting on her tender middle. She was squealing and wriggling and trying to get away when Liz carried Kenny into the room. He immediately began bouncing in his mother's arms and reaching for his daddy. Tyson released Kylee and she ran for the safety of her mother. They all watched as the sleeping monster lay back down and covered his head with the pillow. Within seconds he was
snoring loudly again. Kylee slowly crept up to the side of the bed but Kenny was quicker this time. His mom sat him on the bed and he quickly crawled up to the pillow. Before Kylee could peek under the edge, Kenny rose up on his feet and unceremoniously dropped his behind directly onto the pillow over the sleeping monster's face. “Umph,” the sleeping monster sounded like it was in pain. Liz bit her lip. Kenny was winding up for another assault on the sleeping monster's face when Tyson's arm snaked out and pulled Kenny under the pillow with him. Kylee climbed on the bed and it instantly became a free for all of big time wrestling. Pillows and sheets flew everywhere. The kids had Tyson's arms pinned and he was struggling when suddenly he reversed them and he had them both pinned to the bed. Liz leaned against the door jamb and unobtrusively wiped away the tear that stole down her cheek. This was probably as close to heaven as mortals can get.

  She hated to end the game but they had a play date to get to and she knew Tyson had a full day at the office. They had a quick breakfast and then he kissed two milk mustaches goodbye and smacked his wife's pajama behind on his way out the door.

  The play date with friends went well and Liz called Marci to see if they could stop by after naps to visit with Eli for awhile.

  By now Marci had moved back home with Eli to the house she had shared with Mark. She knew the others were moving on but she really wasn't. She left his leather jacket on the chair and his clothes and shoes in the closet. She spent hours every day looking through old photographs, watching videos of Mark and reading notes and cards he'd sent. Instinctively, she still watched the door a little after 5 every evening for him to come through. She was always still a little sad when he didn't. The sessions with Maddy were helping a lot and she was feeling herself starting to heal, she just needed to do it at her own pace.

  Marci and Liz chatted for a minute, set up a play date and said goodbye. Liz laid the cell phone on the passenger seat in her car and buckled the kids in to head home for lunch and naps.

  At 11:47 Tyson's secretary motioned him out of a client meeting. Tyson was on his feet immediately. There were very few reasons his secretary would ever motion him out of a meeting and a sense of dread shot through him. He followed her quickly to the phone. A woman's voice said, “Umm this is Brenda and I think your family was involved in an accident. I'm at the scene and your wife told me to call this number.”

  Tyson's head started swimming and he sat down hard to keep from passing out. It took him a few seconds to form coherent speech. “Where are you? What's happening? Are they OK?”

  “I don't really know. I just got here and your wife asked me to call. She told me to tell you they were OK. The ambulance is taking them to the hospital. We are on the corner of 7th and Beardsley but the ambulance is loading everyone up now so they won't be here. I think they're headed for John C. Lincoln hospital.”

  Tyson flew towards the door and was halfway down the hall when he realized he left his keys on his desk. He turned, sprinted into his office and yelled at his secretary that he would call her later.

  He drove to the hospital like a maniac. It was a miracle he didn't cause another accident. Terrifying thoughts kept going through his mind. This couldn't really be happening to him. Not now, just as he was beginning to cope with one trauma.

  He pulled into the parking lot, parked illegally, and ran for the emergency room entrance. His heart was in his throat as his eyes frantically searched the waiting room. He hurried to the desk and gave them his name. The receptionist motioned for him to come through the door and she buzzed him in. As soon as he stepped through he heard Kylee's high pitched voice. It was manna from heaven. She was asking a nurse if she could use the stethoscope and Tyson followed the sound of her voice. He glanced behind the curtain and drank in the sight before him like a starving man at a banquet. Kylee was badgering a nurse, Kenny was curled up sleeping next to his mom and Liz was propped up in the bed looking irritated. His heart slowly began to beat normally again.

  Kylee saw him first. She promptly burst into tears and ran to her daddy. He scooped her up and smoothed her always disheveled hair. “What happened pumpkin?”

  She wrapped her arms around his neck and muffled into his Adam's apple. “We had a assident.” She pulled back and scolded him, “Mommy conked her head and a policeman came.” She looked so much like her mother when she was scolding him he had to smile, though he had no idea what he was being scolded for.

  “I'm sorry I wasn't there. Let's go check on mommy shall we,” he held onto Kylee and walked over to Liz. “You scared the crap out of me lady.” He planted a kiss on her forehead and then moved her bangs to see the bump there. “Are you OK?”

  She frowned, “I'm sorry Tyson. My cell phone got knocked off the seat when we got hit and I couldn't find it. I asked a lady to call you and tell you we were OK.”

  “She did but I still envisioned the worst. You have no idea how good it is to see you sitting here scowling at me. What happened?”

  “I'm OK really. I didn't think I needed to come to the hospital but because I was knocked unconscious for a short time they have to test me for a concussion. I have a headache and I'm grumpy but other than that we are all OK. Kenny was a little hysterical at first but he was due for a nap so he zonked out after a few minutes and Kylee thinks the whole thing is a great adventure. She loved riding in the ambulance but honestly I'm not sure if the accident gave me the headache or if it was dragging two kids to the hospital with me.”

  Tyson lifted the sleeping Kenny from her arms and settled down with both kids in the chair beside her.

  “I was sitting at the light on 7th Ave when a pickup came barreling up behind me to turn right at the light. I think he was just going to roll around the corner without ever stopping. He swung too wide to take the turn and rear ended us on the back passenger side. I saw him at the last second but there was nothing I could do. When he hit me my head apparently flew forward an off to the side slightly so I smacked the window. I guess it knocked me out cold. The kids were scared and crying and I think it was their crying that brought me out of it. By the time I got things figured out the police were there. Then the ambulance and here we are.”

  Liz laid her head back and closed her eyes. Everything would be OK now that Tyson was here. She relaxed for the first time. Tyson watched the beautiful woman with the goose egg on the side of her head resting and his insides constricted. Had the truck swerved a little more to the left things could have turned out very differently. He was well aware that he had just been granted a precious gift and as two warm bundles snuggled in his arms he held on tightly. If he had needed a wakeup call, this was it. Suddenly work and clients seemed inconsequential. The only things that mattered in his world were there beside him. He felt a sense of protectiveness and a deep, consuming love. It felt right. For the first time in months he wasn't fighting off guilt, pain or sorrow. He would always love those he lost but it was time to love those he still had, and he determined to love them with all the passion and strength of his whole being.

  He closed his eyes and breathed in the smell of his babies and had a softly whispered conversation with God. “Help me be the man they deserve. Help me be the husband and father that I've been given this chance to be.”

  On the drive home he called his secretary and told her to cancel his appointments for the rest of the week. He was playing nurse. Liz protested, but not too loudly. Her head hurt and she was tired. He took her home and put her to bed with an aspirin and a cold compress. He fixed his specialty, macaroni and cheese and they slurped the noodles loudly, because Liz wasn't there to reprimand them.

  He woke Liz up briefly to nurse Kenny before bed and as he sat and watched the two of them in bed together he realized he had a lot to be happy about. He really did. He had been through the most awful experience of his life but with his wife's help he had weathered the worst of it and he was on the road to being happy again. He smiled and it was a real smile. Not the fake one he had been using for months. This one came from d
eep inside and it went all the way up to his eyes. He kissed the nursing baby's head and he kissed his wife's head and then he just sat and watched for the longest time.